Lost memories
by fantasy-nat
Summary: When Merlin ends up without memories, Arthur realises just how much Merlin means to him. However, he will soon discover much more about his manservant than what he thought possible. No slash, sort of reveal fic (not of his magic exactly but of a few of his other secrets)
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: As usual, I own nothing but the plot line.**

**So, my second fanfic ever! I planned this to be a one shot, but in the end it was a bit longer than I predicted so it turned out like this.**

**Nothing much happens in the first part, sorry, but hopefully the other ones will be more interesting.**

**Enjoy!**

As soon as Merlin woke up, he knew it was going to be a long, _long_ day. He could already see the first rays of sun perking through his window and since Arthur had specifically insisted to be woken at dawn the day before, he knew he was in for a scolding which would no doubt involve insults, a few things thrown his way and one or two threats of being sent to the stocks. He got dressed as quickly as he could, as quietly as he could so as not to wake Gaius up and ran down the stairs towards the kitchen. He grabbed the King's breakfast, not bothering to take anything for himself since there was no way he would have the time to eat it and, still running, he made his way to the King chambers. Without posing to catch his breath, he entered the room. The curtains were still closed and, in his haste to get to the table to put the tray he was holding down, he tripped on some clothe that he had forgotten to put away the night before. Muttering curses under his breath, he put the food on the table and went to open the curtains.

"Rise and shine!" he exclaimed loudly.

A groan was the only answer he got, as Arthur simply rolled on his side to avoid the sudden brightness of the room

"Go away." he muttered sleepily.

"I don't think so, Arthur, we have a busy day ahead of us. You know, something to do with a crystal, sorcery and Morgana's latest plan to bother us all?"

Now wide awake, Arthur jerked out of bed and almost fell on his face in his hurry to get up. The scene was hilarious and under any other circumstances, Merlin would have had no problem laughing and maybe teasing Arthur a bit about his clumsiness but as it was, he knew he was in enough trouble not to try to make matters worse so he wisely kept his amusement to himself (as hard as it was) and waited for the lazy prat to come to his senses.

"It's morning" Arthur pointed out blankly.

"Woah sire, your observation skills are impressive" (okay so it was not the most intelligent thing to do but he couldn't help tease the King _at least_ a little and he had asked for it anyway).

"What, in the name of God, do you not understand in the phrase "wake me up before dawn"?! You idiot!" he shouted.

And as Merlin predicted, he got shouted at (even more so when he pointed out that Arthur was loosing even more time shouting at him), thrown things at (making sure there was nothing sharp next to the bed proved to be an excellent decision), threatened and by the time Arthur had decided that he had insulted Merlin enough, finished getting prepared and gotten into the courtyard, they were at least an hour late, a fact that earned Merlin a dark look from one seriously pissed off King.

The knights all looked at him with something between pity and clear amusement, but they said nothing. They didn't want to experience the King's wrath for themselves, as amusing as it was to see Merlin get picked on.

And so finally, they were all ready and they left without any more delay. They were heading north, towards the cave of Eridan. Word had reached Camelot that the witch Morgana was looking for a jewel which had incredible magical powers. They had discussed about what should be done to prevent her from getting her hands on it, and possibly causing some kind of mischief with it, and, after many arguments and despite the risks of it being a clever trap, Arthur had decided to go after it anyway, in the hope of getting his hands on it before she did. Gaius had told them that the legend surrounding the jewel spoke of those caves where a powerful sorcerer had hidden it many years before, however he had not been able to tell them exactly what was the jewel supposed to do. Their only hope was that Morgana had not the knowledge Gaius possessed and that she still didn't know where to find what she was seeking. And so they had all left at dawn (well almost) so that they could reach the place before nightfall. No one had been told where they were going, nor why, to make sure that she would not come after them.

All in all their trip was peaceful. They encountered a few bandits (then again, when have they _not_ encountered a few bandits passing through the forests surrounding Camelot?) but they were dealt with quickly. Actually Merlin didn't even had to use his powers to take down anyone (that, on the other hand, was more surprising). And that's precisely why he was becoming more and more stressed. There was no way things could go that well.

However, everything seemed to indicate he was worrying for nothing. They arrived unarmed in front of the cave of Eridan and, as it was already dark, Arthur said they would camp in a clearing not far from the entrance of the cave and that they would search it the following day.

"Arthur, I'm not sure it's a good idea to camp there. We are just outside the cave where that stone is hidden and we don't even know what it does. Maybe we should...

-Don't be such a girl, Merlin! I can't believe it, honestly, how can you be so easily scared?!"

Merlin gave him an exasperated look which Arthur simply ignored.

"Why don't you make yourself useful, for once in a while? Go gather some wood for the fire and then make sure the horses are looked after"

Still exasperated, Merlin opened his mouth to retort something, but Arthur cut him:

"And before you add anything else, need I remind you that _you_ are the reason we arrived too late here to search the cave immediately"

Sighing dejectedly, Merlin made his way towards the trees to get started on his chores.

_Merlin..._ woken with a start, Merlin looked around to see who had called him. But there was no one there. The knights were all sleeping, save for Percival, who was on guard duty. All was quiet. _Merlin..._ Again that voice could be heard. Standing, he stealthily made his way towards the trees. The only people he knew who called him that way were the druids (well, them and Kilgarrah, but he didn't think it was the great Dragon, he would have recognised his voice anywhere) when they wanted to give him some kind of warning and he didn't think it would be a good idea to let the knights know about it. Just as he reached the first trees, the voice sounded again, pressing :_Merlin, Merlin, MERLIN!_ Unable to resist it, he headed towards the source of the voice. Dazzled, he didn't notice that the voice had called him Merlin and not Emrys as the druids did, nor did he realised he was heading towards the cave of Eridan. He didn't care about stealth or danger any more. The only though his mind processed was that he needed to get to that voice as fast as possible. It echoed in his head, in his whole body, urging him to go faster and suddenly he was in front of a crystal. It was strangely shaped. One side of it was dark red and it looked rough with sharp angles. The other side was clear blue, soft and smooth. He stayed there, unmoving, completely enchanted by the crystal for the longest time. His world was reduced to that stone and nothing, not the way his magic shifted in him as a warning, not the worried voices of the knights who had been woken by Percival when he noticed Merlin's absence, nothing could distract him from his trance. _Merlin, Merlin, Merlin... _the voice sounded again. He reached for the crystal and touched the red part of it.

Arthur was dreaming of Gwen. They were both in his chambers, dinning together. She was laughing at something he said and, as usual, he couldn't keep his eyes off her. Suddenly, something a lot less charming than Guineviere's laugh invaded his mind:

"Sire!" The voice of Sir Leon cut through his dream. Now awake, he looked darkly at Leon:

"This has better be good.

-Merlin has disappeared, Sire.

-What?! You're sure he didn't just went to take a stroll or something?"

Seeing the look on his knight face, he cursed and got up. What had this idiot gotten himself into this time?

They searched for him around the camp but he was nowhere to be found. And suddenly, an idea came to his mind:

"The cave!"

They ran toward it. Arthur was the first to enter, his knights not far behind him. And there Merlin was, standing in front of a strange stone -probably the one they were looking for.

"Merlin, you idiot! When I said it could wait till morning, I meant it. Seriously what's wrong with you and the time of the day? First you understand dawn as 'two hours after sunrise' and now..." He trailed off. Something was wrong. First Merlin had yet to look at him and second, he hadn't immediately started protesting that he hadn't been that late this morning or something of the sort. It was as if he hadn't even heard him. He moved to the left, to get a better view of his servant's face, and what he saw made a shiver ran down his spine.

"Merlin!" He called, not even bothering to hide the fear and concern that had crept into his voice.

"Merlin take a step back, that's an order! Merlin!" But he didn't react at all. He was still staring at the stone, mesmerised, and his eyes were still unfocused, as if he was not really there.

He went to grab him, to take him away from that jewel even if he had to force him but, just as he was about to touch him, Merlin reached for the crystal and touched it. As soon as his skin made contact with the stone, he started shouting and his back arched as if he had been struck by lightening. His hand seemed to be sticked to the stone for even when he started shaking violently he didn't let go of it. Arthur could only watch in horror as his friend screamed in pain. He had never felt so helpless in his entire life. After what seemed like an eternity, Merlin's cries ran down and he fell slowly to the ground. Arthur caught him in time to avoid him banging his head on the hard floor. Gently, he lied him down and Gwaine used his mantle to make a pillow for him.

"Thanks.

-Don't mention it"

They looked at each other, worried, and completely at a loss for what to do. Next to them, the stone was glistening ominously.

The first thing he heard when he woke up was the cracking of fire. He could feel its warmth on his face and he knew he was next to it. There was something soft under his head but he was clearly lying down on the ground. Apart from that, he had no idea where he was or how he got there. He opened his eyes, hoping to learn a bit more about his situation. However, before he had the chance to take a look around, he found himself surrounded by men. They were all dressed in the same fashion: chain mail, leather boots, red capes. And they were all looking at him with concern.

"Merlin?" The one who spoke had blond hair and blue eyes. He held himself with confidence and he seemed impassive but his tone held a hint of worry. Completely at a loss for what to do, he didn't answer.

"What possessed you to go alone in that cave to play with a magical stone which you _knew_ was dangerous -you are the one who couldn't stop whining about it by the way. Would it have kill you to wait till morning? Answer me you idiot, it's not by staying there looking like the complete fool you are that you are going to be forgiven!" Maybe he shouldn't have been so harsh, Arthur though, but the idiot deserved it for making him -well to call a spade a spade _worry_- so much. However, instead of the witty comeback he expected, the answer he got made him feel like his stomach had dropped all the way down to his feet:

"I'm sorry but... Who are you?"

**Alright, I warned you, nothing much happens. Consider that to be a prologue.**

**Leave a review to tell me what you thought about it. Criticism is welcome of course!**


	2. Returning home

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

**The sequel is up! Hope you'll like it.**

**Thanks to all those who reviewed/added this to their favorites/followed this. You're the best!**

"So you're a King?

-Yes Merlin, I am a King.

-And they" he made a gesture to designate the other men "are your Knights?

-Yes, they are. Seriously Merlin, that stone did nothing to make you smarter than usual. We've been explaining that to you for ages!" Merlin didn't answer. Instead, he shot the supposedly King a dark look. Arthur immediately felt guilty. He shouldn't be so harsh on the poor manservant, it was certainly not easy to wake up with no memories of who you were, but as usual when he was worried or sad or any other emotion that was not at all befitting a King, he acted like -let's face it- a total prat. They had been explaining things -who they were, who Merlin was and what had happened to him- for at least an hour now and Arthur couldn't stand it anymore. He tried to make amend:

"Look, I know this is hard for you. Don't worry. We'll take you back to Camelot and we'll figure out how to give you back your memories in no time. I'm sure Gaius will know all about this crystal and how it works.

-Camelot? Gaius?" And just with that, Arthur's calm appearance shattered and he felt the urgent need to punch something, anything. Because if Merlin didn't even remember Camelot or Gaius, it had to be bad. God! Gaius was like a father to Merlin! He couldn't have forgotten _everything._

Leon quickly realised that Arthur's patience was running out because he took over:

"Camelot is where you live, where we all live. And Gaius is the court physician, as well as the man you live with.

-He's part of my family? My father?

-No, not at all. Well he considers you his son but...

-Who's my father then?" His question was met with silence.

"Well?" They were all looking at each other, uncomfortable, not knowing how to answer that. In the end, Arthur told him

"We don't know. You've never known him, Merlin.

-Oh." It felt somewhat strange to him, as if he _had _had someone to call 'father'. It was probably just wishful thinking though. No one spoke for a while.

"Alright, that's it!" Arthur snapped. "It's time for us to head back. Leon, you are in charge of that stone for now, whatever happens, don't let go of it and _do not touch it_, understand?" Leon nodded and Arthur went on with his orders: "Merlin..." and he stopped short. Of course he couldn't give the boy chores to do, he would be clueless about it but Arthur was so used to ordering him around that it actually felt weird not to be piling up chores on him.

"Merlin just... stay here until we leave. Elyan and Percival, ready the horses, Gwaine pack things up. We are leaving as soon as possible."

"Yes sire." Everyone agreed.

Fifteen minutes later, they were ready and they set towards Camelot. Merlin was riding at the front, next to Arthur. The sight was so familiar, so normal,that it was easy for any of the knights to forget that anything was wrong. What was unusual though was the kind of questions Merlin pestered Arthur with. Instead of the usual "Where are we going? Is it a good idea? Are you sure about this?" and the insults which came with it, Merlin was oddly silent. Occasionally he would wonder about something and ask Arthur. Unfortunately for the King, it was usually not very pleasant to answer.

For instance, just as they were crossing a small river, the manservant asked out at of the blue:

"Do I have any friends back in Camelot?" Arthur almost choke. He felt as if Merlin had just punched him in the gut. He would never admit it aloud, but Merlin was his best friend and hearing him ask something like that as if the mere idea that he and Arthur could actually be friends hadn't even crossed his mind hurt more than he would have expected.

"Yes Merlin, you do" He didn't add anything else not trusting his voice to speak for now.

"Is there something wrong, your majesty? Is it something I said?" Trust the annoying manservant to still be able to read him like a book even without any memories. He tried to ignore the respectful 'your majesty' as best as he could, or he might have done something stupid like _order_ the idiot not to use any kind of title. If he did so, Merlin would become insufferable -well, more so than usual- once he was back to his normal self. And he would be back to his normal self, Arthur was going to make sure of that.

"No, it's nothing."

Or when they stopped to take a quick lunch and Merlin went with Gwaine to refill their waterskins.

Curious, he jumped on the occasion to ask one of the knight something which had been bothering him but he didn't dare to ask while the king was near.

"So I'm the King manservant, right?

-Yep, the one and only.

-What is he like, as a King I mean?" Ever since he had been told that he served Arthur, he had been wondering.

"He's a prat, as you would call him, but he's also one of the best man I've ever met. He is a good King, fair and loyal to his people." Gwaine answered, serious (well mostly) for once. Merlin merely nodded, happy to know that he was not serving a tyrant or someone of the sort. "Although he is a prat"

Merlin smiled: "You keep saying that"

"No, mate, _you_ keep saying that. I'm just trying to make you remember a few of your good habits

-Ok so one of my 'good habit' is actually to insult my king. Great! What else? Being sent to the dungeons for insolence?

-That too!" Gwaine laughed "Though to be honest you are more often sent to the stocks than to the dungeons.

-Sounds fun" He said, clearly lacking enthusiasm while saying this.

"Oh come on, cheer up! You've been moody ever since we left those caves!

-Well sorry if I'm not too happy about the whole 'losing my memories' thing. It's weird! I feel like I know you and the others too, but I can't remember how and then you say something or do something and I have a kind of flashback and then I forget all over again!

-Hey at least you remember some!

-True" But he still looked sad so, in true Gwaine fashion, the knight decided to cheer his friend up a bit- meaning he decided to do something stupid. He splashed him. Surprised, Merlin jerked back when he fell the icy water on his skin and, in true Merlin fashion this time, he tripped on some rock and fell face first in the river. Gwaine burst out laughing.

"Ha very funny indeed! Are you done now?" Merlin asked angrily.

"Come on mate, you should have seen your face!" They stared at each other and both started laughing. Gwaine gave Merlin a hand to pull him up to his feet, but the warlock had other plans. He pulled Gwaine towards him and the drunkard, not expecting it, soon joined his friend in the water.

"Oh you want to do it that way? Very well!"

They chased each other around the river like children when a stern voice stopped their fun

"Could you be anymore childish?! Maybe I should hire a baby-sitter to look after you, see if she could make you behave.

-Whatever you say, princess!" was the only answer he got.

Gwaine winked at Merlin, then they collected the waterskins and headed towards the rest of their friends.

Unbeknownst to them, Arthur had gone after them earlier than what they thought, and he had heard the major part of their conversation. He didn't really know what to make of it. On the one hand, hearing the one that had repeated time and time again that he was going to be a great King, the greatest of all, that he had faith in him, the one person who could help him whenever he doubted himself, the one who had always been at his side and who had always, _always_ trusted him more than anyone else, hearing him ask someone else what kind of king Arthur was as if he doubted him was terrifying. Because really, if Merlin didn't trust him to be a great king anymore, how could he trust himself? On the other hand, Merlin had admitted he was starting to remember some things, so maybe it was going to be alright after all. Maybe whatever that stone did was temporary and Merlin was going to go back to his normal, annoying, happy-go-lucky self soon. Yeah right, as if things ever went that well.

The others had prepared lunch while they were away. Well 'prepared' might have been over the top. They had taken out of their bags the bread, cheese and ham that would be their lunch. Had Merlin had his memories, he would have probably made fun of them and of their complete lack of cooking skills. Or, more likely, had Merlin had his memories, he would have been the one in charge of preparing lunch. As it was, he simply went towards his horse to see if he didn't have a spare shirt to change from his wet clothes. It was march already and it was still a bit chilly. Gwaine had had the same idea.

"What happened to you? You fell in the river?" Percival asked when he caught sight of the two drenched men next to the King.

"Well, you know Merlin. He tripped and fell into the water and I had to go save him" Gwaine answered cheekily.

"Save me? What from, the fish? _You _pushed me in the water.

-Did I ?

-Yes, you did." Merlin answered

" You're not the one whose memories disappeared so don't even try to pretend you don't remember."

Elyan added

"Fine, fine it was my fault" Gwaine confessed good-naturedly.

They were all in a good mood after that. Besides Gwaine's antics, they had all noticed that Merlin seemed much more comfortable with them now. He acted like he usually did, treating them like friends instead of strangers like he had been doing ever since his memories had disappeared.

Just then there was a gust of wind and Merlin shivered, remembering what he had been doing. Fortunately, he found a dry shirt in his bag so he took the one he was wearing off and he was just about to put the other on when a gasp made him look up. He had been facing the others while changing, thus exposing his torso and now they were looking at him with various looks from worried to downright furious (from respectively Elyan and Arthur).

"What happened?" Arthur asked angrily.

"What?" was Merlin very intelligent reply. Then he took a look at his torso to see what they were staring at and he found himself unable to speak anymore. There, on his chest, was a round-shaped burn, the size of Percival's fist. It looked awful as if it had not healed normally.

"What happened?" Arthur asked again, more forcefully. It had never occurred to him that, while Merlin had seen him shirtless often -he did help him get dressed every morning- Arthur had never seen his manservant without a shirt on. Hell, he couldn't even remember a time when he had seen him without a neckerchief!

"How do you want me to know?" He had a point, Arthur had to admit.

Frowning, Arthur inspected critically the young man before him. Merlin fidgeted, uncomfortable at being scrutinized in such a way. Next to him, Gwaine whistled

"That's some burn, mate. Sure you don't know where it comes from? You don't have a flash back or something?"

It was Merlin's turn to frown. He absent-mindedly went to sit with his friends, next to Percival, while putting his shirt on. He really didn't feel comfortable with the stares he was getting from the others. He concentrated on the wound on his chest, trying to see if it ringed any kind of bell. Who had done this? How? The burn was round so maybe he had been hit by something circular. And it didn't look so good so he assumed the wound was actually not so old but it felt normal to him, as if he was used to it so maybe it was actually older than he though... Let's face it, he had no idea what might have happened.

"You don't have any idea where or when I might have got this?" He asked the men gathered around him. Right now they knew more about him than he did. But they just looked guiltily at one another and were forced to admit that none of them had a clue. He tried to remember. The burning, the pain must have been horrible, surely he would remember. He put a hand under his shirt, feeling the burn. It didn't really hurt. Almost without realising he was speaking, he murmured:

"She was angry at me, so angry...

-She? Who Merlin, who did this? I'll _kill _them!" Arthur spat out.

"I don't know, I can't remember but... _I_ was angry too, even more than she was. She had done something to me, something I couldn't forgive. I had to stop her or... or someone I cared for was going to die. Then I did something and she throw a fireball at me.

-She _throw_ a fireball at you? You had seriously pissed her off!" Elyan exclaimed.

"Yeah I think."

"Who was going to die? " Arthur asked, looking pale.

"What?

-You said someone was going to die if you didn't stop her. Who?

-I don't know, I can't remember."

Arthur had a bad feeling about this. What if he was the one Merlin had tried to save? He certainly had proven that he was willing to take every risks when Arthur's life was at stake. Of course, that idiot conveniently forgot that whenever he did something heroic/stupid like that, it made Arthur feel horrible afterwards. How could he live with himself if one day Merlin actually got killed, saving his life? How could he ever accept the fact that his best friend had died because of him, because he hadn't been strong enough to protect himself? Knowing that Merlin happened to have not so friendly secret meetings with sorcerers -for the woman who had thrown a fireball at him was no doubt a sorceress- was bad enough. Knowing that he might have done so for him just made it ten times worst. He sincerely hoped it had been someone else that Merlin had tried to save that day.

"Who was the witch? When was it?

-I don't know! The witch, she had dark hair, and she was rather pretty.

-Morgana?!

-What?Who? No! Well I don't think so... I don't know I'm sorry." He looked so miserable then, so sad, that Arthur didn't have the heart to question him anymore. Apparently, the other knights had the same idea for they left him in peace after that but they couldn't help but wonder how many things the manservant might have been hiding from them, and how much of it this whole mess would let them discover.

They resumed their journey without another word exchanged and arrived in Camelot as the sun set.

Just before they entered the castle, Merlin stopped his horse and gazed at the buildings around him in silent wonder.

"What is it?" Arthur asked, his voice unusually soft .

"It feels like home"

When asked about it later, the King would deny the huge smile that appeared on his face as he heard those words. For now all that mattered was that things were going to be alright in the end.

**That's it for now.**

**What do you think? I though about revealing the Serket wound too but I think the more noticeable scar would be the burn left by Nimueh's fireball.**

**Don't hesitate to leave any suggestion. I can't promise I'll add them to the story, I already know pretty much what I'm going to do but I'll see what I can do (or improve).**


	3. Questions

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin**

**Thanks to all those who reviewed. ****I really appreciate it! A special thanks to MildeAmasoj for his ideas. I'll add them in the following chapters, I think (at least some of them), so I hope you'll like it**

**Enjoy.!**

"What is the first thing you can remember clearly?

-Waking up in a camp with King Arthur shouting at me." Gaius glanced at said King Arthur who was almost fidgeting guiltily.

"And before that, nothing?

-Nothing clear."

Gaius said nothing more, but he appeared to be deep in thought.

"Well Gaius, can you help him?"

The physician carefully answered:

"I'll do everything I can, sire, but I'm not sure what could have done such a thing. May I see the stone that caused this?

-Of course. I asked Leon to put it in a safe place within the vaults of Camelot but you are welcome to go study it. I'll just ask you to let it in the vaults, it's safer there. I wouldn't want anyone else to end up without memories.

-Of course sire. If I may suggest something?

-Go ahead.

-Merlin has already shown signs that he could remember parts of his old life. Perhaps we could try to see if there is a way for him to remember more. I believe we should try to remind him of a few things. Preferably things that matter to him, that have strong feelings attached to them. He will have more chance to actually remember them."

Arthur stayed silent for while, pondering this. What were the things Merlin cared for? He would've said his friends -meaning him, the knights and Gwen but he had already said he didn't remember any of them. Nor did he remember Gaius. His mother maybe?

"Merlin, do you remember a bit about your mother, Hunith?

-Hunith?

-Yes. She lives in Ealdor, a small village beyond the mountains. That's were you lived before coming here.

-Why did I leave?

-I don't really know... you once told me that you felt as if you didn't really belong there.

-I don't really remember Ealdor, but Hunith... The name sounds familiar..."

Scolding, Arthur thought again about what to try next. Gaius had left the room to go looking for the stone, leaving him and Merlin alone. But really, he should have been the one doing this. He knew everything about Merlin. 'Just like you should' a little voice in his head said 'How long as he lived in Camelot at your service? You should know everything there is to know about him'. Feeling guilty, a sensation he had become way too familiar with since his friend had ended up with amnesia, he fidgeted nervously. He was immensely grateful for Gwaine's enthusiasm for once when the knight barged into the room with Gwen. He had sent him looking for her while he explained the situation to Gaius and apparently, she wanted to see how Merlin was doing for herself, saving him from the awkward situation he had been in.

"Oh Merlin, I heard what happened to you, this is horrible, how are you feeling?

-Fine, thanks err... who are you?"

Gwen looked like she was going to cry.

"I'm Guinevre, but you can call me Gwen."

There was a pose during which Merlin eyed the woman before him thoughtfully.

"We are friends, aren't we?

-Yes!" She exclaimed, pleasantly surprised.

"Hey, how come you remember her and not me?" Gwaine shouted "It's not fair!"

Arthur though the exact same thing, but of course he would never admit it out loud.

"I don't know, but it has gotten easier to remember ever since we reached Camelot." Then he smiled teasingly "Or maybe I just like her better than you..."

"Careful Merlin, that's my wife you are talking about.

-Don't be silly Arthur." Gwen chided him. "By the way were is Gaius? Does he know how to help Merlin?

-He went to inspect the stone. He advised us to try to remind Merlin of things he felt strongly about, things that he would have the most chance to remember. Apparently, his friendships are a good place to start with"

As he said that, another idea came to his mind:

"You said you remember better now?

-Yes, I think so, but it's hard to tell.

-Do you remember more about that fireball?

-What fireball? Oh!" He put his hand on his chest, where his scar was, and tried again to remember.

"Do you remember who did this to you? Who were you trying to protect? When was it?

-Arthur!" Gwen scolded him "Let him think." She had no idea what they were talking about but Arthur's questions had only served to confuse the poor manservant more.

After a while, he answered:

"I think... I think it had something to do with Gaius. And the witch... Ni-something. I don't really know."

The room suddenly felt cold to Arthur:

"Nimueh?" He barely recognised his voice when he said that.

"Yeah that's it! Nimueh." Merlin seemed delighted to have remembered correctly something, even if it was the name of the witch he had managed to piss off so much she had thrown a fireball at him.

"Nimueh?" Gwaine asked, curious. "Who is she?"

"She is a very powerful witch who tried to kill me -and Merlin- a few times. But I hadn't heard of her in years.

-Of course not" Merlin said cheerfully, "I killed her."

No one spoke for a while.

"You _killed_ her?

-I think so. After she throw the fireball at me.

-_How?_" Arthur asked, completed baffled. Imagining Merlin of all people to actually kill a witch that powerful, injured to top it all, was so ridiculous it was funny.

"I'm not quite sure..." Actually the more he thought about it, the more cautious he felt. Something inside him told him that he should not talk about that, that it was supposed to stay secret. Why? What was so important to keep hidden? Frustrated with only knowing half-truths, he tried as hard as he could to remember. But it was like a dream he would have tried to catch: the more he though about it, the more it eluded him.

"When did that happen?

-I'm not quite sure either." Merlin answered, regretting ever mentioning the topic. Arthur stared at him, not sure if he really believed that, but he decided to drop the subject. For now.

"So" Gwaine said to break the tense silence "We have to talk to you about things that you feel strongly about, right?

-Er... apparently, yes."

Gwaine turned very serious now, and looked at him straight in the eye.

"Merlin?

-Yes?" He answered, feeling nervous

"When was the last time you drank a good pint of mead?" There was a pose, then:

"Gwaine!

-What?" He answered innocently.

"What kind of question is that?

-What do you mean? If there is one thing I would never forget, it's were to find good mead. Or ale, if you prefer that. I remember that tavern in...

-Gwaine!" Arthur interrupted angrily "We are talking about Merlin, not about you drunkard! Even though I have to admit that Merlin does like to go to the tavern" He felt his anger disappear as he considered the question. Who knows, maybe Merlin _would_ remember that.

Merlin looked at the both of them as if they had suddenly grown a second head, before looking at Guinevre, uncertain. She merely shrugged, smiling.

"I don't really remember things like that, you know"

Gwaine looked disappointed and almost pitying. How hard it must be for someone not to even know if they preferred ale over mead. Arthur, on the other hand, was feeling strangely relieved, as absurd as the whole situation was. If Merlin had remembered something so stupid but not that he was Arthur's friend, he would have sent the idiot to the stocks, memory loss or not.

Not giving up, Gwaine added:

"What about girls?

-_Girls?_" Arthur repeated, completely flabbergasted. He had a hard time following Gwaine's logic.

"Of course 'girls', princess" he ignored Arthur's dark look as he said that "If it was me...

-This isn't about you!" Arthur repeated

"... I would remember girls. Come on Merlin, who was the first girl you ever kissed? Or the last one?"

Seething, Arthur told him:

"Merlin is supposed to remember things, not invent them! As if he had _ever_ kissed a girl!

-Come on, Arthur, I'm sure that he is a real charmer when he wants to. I've seen him with that servant girl, what was her name again..."

Arthur seemed desperate as he looked at his knight, still trying to remember some girl's name.

"Gwen, help me here, please. I fear that Gwaine has lost his mind. Who knows, maybe that crystal had long-ranged effects as well" he teased

"Don't be mean Arthur." She answered with a smile.

Gwaine was about to speak up to defend himself when Merlin, whom they had all but forgotten, spoke up:

"Her name was Freya."

* * *

Arthur sighed as he exited the council room. The meeting had been long and boring. He had wanted to end it before it had even begun but of course, as the King of Camelot he couldn't act so childishly. To be honest, the council had not been worst than usual, but he had so many thoughts swirling in his head that he would have liked to have some peace and quiet, alone, to think about everything that had been going on. Merlin, his idiotic, clumsy, useless manservant had been attacked by sorcerers, had killed a very powerful witch and had loved someone without Arthur even suspecting it.

After all this years Merlin had spent by his side he thought he knew all about him. He thought Merlin was too... well too shallow to be keeping much secrets from him. And yet, as he talked to him now, it was almost as if he was talking to a stranger. How could all this have happened under his nose without him knowing? He didn't even notice Merlin falling in love with someone while it had taken something like two seconds for Merlin to guess he had fallen in love with Gwen! Was he so clueless? Was he really, as Merlin often said, an insensitive prat?

He had been very curious about this Freya. He had asked him who she was and where she was now and Merlin had answered him softly "She was the woman I loved. That's something I cannot forget" and then he had added, so quietly that Arthur had almost missed it. Almost, but not quite: "And now she is dead. I cannot forget that either" and he had looked so sad saying this...Where and when had Merlin met her? What was she like? Why had his friend never mentioned her before? But looking at Merlin as he said her name, seeing the hurt and loneliness and the terrible,_ terrible_ sadness in his eyes he hadn't protested when Merlin claimed not to remember anything else. He didn't know if Merlin truly didn't remember or just didn't want to speak of it, but he was ready to accept any kind of flimsy excuse from his manservant as long as he never had to witness him looking so hurt again. Unfortunately he had to leave shortly after that, to go to that stupid council meeting leaving Merlin alone (well with Gwaine and Gwen, but it wasn't the same). He sighed again, berating himself for being so blind.

"It's not your fault, you know."

Startled, Arthur turned to see his queen standing just behind him, looking at him with eyes full of understanding and compassion. He was surprised to see her. He had excused her from the meeting so that she could stay with Merlin, no matter how much he wished _he_ could have stayed as well.

"What is not my fault?

-What happened to Merlin. The things he decided not to share with you. I think that Merlin is a very independent person. He would do anything to help those he loves but it's not really easy for him to actually ask for help. Whatever he might have hidden from you, I'm sure that he just didn't want to burden you with something you couldn't help with.

-I took an oath, Gwen, to protect my people at all costs. And in the end I'm not even able to protect the ones closest to me. I'm not reliable enough for Merlin to ask for my help. Don't tell me it's not my fault because I feel that I've failed him somehow!" He was nearly shouting at the end of his speech.

-Oh Arthur" she said, looking sad, as she embraced him "Don't say that, don't ever say that. You are his friend, don't ever doubt this. And Merlin is the first one to say that you are a wonderful King.

-You mean 'he was'. It's not as if he remembers me at all" And no, his eyes didn't look suspiciously shiny as he said that.

"Have you asked him?

-What?

-Have you asked him if he didn't remember anything about you?

-He had no idea who I was when he woke up. "Arthur pointed out, in a matter-of-fact way.

"But he has been getting better, you said so yourself. After you left, Gwaine kept up trying to stir some of his memories about his time with the knights" Seeing that he was about to protest "and he didn't mention that Freya or girls anymore. He is not that insensitive, you know.

-You're right of course. I should probably go and talk to him. But do you know were Gaius is? I would like to know if he has found anything.

-I don't know but you should try his room first."

Nodding, he headed towards the physician's chambers.

* * *

Merlin was glad when he was finally alone. Gwen had left to check on Arthur and Gwaine had had to go on a patrol. Despite the fact that they had safely (well mostly) got the crystal Morgana was after, Arthur had ordered his knights to double the guard in case the witch tried to get her hands on it by coming directly into the castle.

Sighing, he glanced at the small window in his room. There, he could see the whole of Camelot. The sight was familiar to him, like he was at home as he had said to Arthur. It was comforting, and God knew he could use some comfort right now. _'I've never met anyone like you', 'thank you', 'I'll take care of you' _Those words sounded in his head, ever since Gwaine had had the stupid idea to mention girls. He felt an immense sorrow as he though of the name that had came spontaneously to his mind when he thought of a woman he loved. 'Freya'. He didn't know who she was, what she looked like, how they had met. He couldn't remember. But the feelings he had for her, that, he couldn't forget.

It was so hard to fight back the tears that threatened to spill out when he couldn't even put a face on the name that was making him feel that way, so hard to fight down the guilt he was feeling at having forgotten her when he_ knew_, with all his heart, that she had been one of the most important person of his life. So hard to feel like a lost boy in a stranger's life. The knights had been understanding, and for that he was grateful. They tried to help him, and they didn't push him when he was obviously in pain. But it didn't help with his confusion, the way he felt so lost. He just hoped that it would all end soon. The elderly man from before, Gaius -and he knew that he as not just some elderly man but someone important to him, but like the rest _he couldn't remember a damn thing!- _he had said he would do anything to help him. He really, _really_ wished it to be true because he didn't know how long he would stand this.

**As usual, review to tell me what you thought about it!**


	4. Memories

**Already chapter 4! Thanks to those who reviewed and those who follow my story!**

**Enjoy!**

Arthur arrived in front of the physician's door and he stopped. He didn't really know why he felt so apprehensive. All he had to do was knock, enter and see if Gaius was in the room and had news for him. The real problem however was that he knew that Merlin was probably inside and he didn't really know how to face him right now. He wanted to follow Gwen's advice and ask him if he could remember him a bit but the mere idea of actually uttering those words made him cringe. He was a King, there was no way he could sound so _girly_, especially not in front of Merlin. He would never let him hear the end of it. Haking his head, he stealed himself for what was to come. He was being stupid and he knew it. Breathing deeply, he knocked and entered the room. Gaius was there, sitting in front of an impressive collection of books, some open, others simply piling up. Relieved when he noticed that Merlin was nowhere to be found, Arthur spoke up:

"Gaius? Have you found something?

-Sire." Gaius greeted " Yes, the stone reminded me of something, but I'm not quite sure what it was. I'm looking into it. Merlin seems to remember more and more but from what he told me he mainly remembers feelings and not images: for instance when you mentioned my name, or Gwen's, he claimed not to remember any of us but when he actually saw us, he knew we were people he loved. This is very peculiar. I hope it will help me narrow down my researches.

-Good. And do you know why the stone had such an effect on him?

-An effect?" Gaius asked, surprised. "I thought he had merely been reckless.

-Oh no, not at all. When we found him he was... I don't know how to say that, he was actually... mesmerised by the stone. He couldn't look away from it. I had never seen him like that. And none of us were affected, so...

-You should have told me that sooner, Arthur!" Gaius dropped the tittle for once, too caught up in what the King had just told him. Arthur cringed.

"I'm sorry I thought I did, I thought it wasn't so important, I..." he said, trying to explain himself. He had been in such a hurry to explain everything to Gaius that he had forgotten to mention the strange way Merlin had been acting. He had honestly thought it wasn't so important, that it was just part of the enchantment.

Gaius barely listened to him. He could think of only one thing that Merlin had and not the others: his magic.

"Where is Merlin anyway?" Startled out of his thoughts, the physician answered absent-mindedly:

"Oh? Well I told him to go take a walk around the castle, it's not by staying locked up in his room that his condition is going to improve.

-I see.

-Well if that is all, sire, I'd like to go back to my research. You've given me much to think about.

-Of course Gaius. Let me know at once if you need something or if you find anything."

Gaius nodded in agreement and Arthur left the room, heading towards the training field. He could use some distraction right now.

* * *

Merlin had decided to let his feet carry him. As it was, he found himself in front of two large doors. Curious as to what could be behind them, he entered the room. He was in a large bedroom. In front of him there was a long table with beautiful craved chairs around it. On the left there was a big four-poster bed , with red covers and drapes and a wardrobe next to it. Puzzled, he wondered whose room it was. It felt so familiar that Merlin could have sworn it was his own if not for the fact that he had been told he lived with Gaius in the physician's quarters. He couldn't really stay there all day long, though, so he stepped out of the room. He would ask one of the knights about it later. Actually, he didn't have to go very far because he bumped into Sir Elyan just as he was exiting the room.

"Merlin? What are you doing here? Don't tell me that Arthur asked you to go back to work already, Gwen is going to bit his head off if she learns about this!"

The poor warlock was embarrassed at having apparently caused his King troubles (because the 'biting his head off' thing didn't sound too pleasant).

"Should I not be there? I'm sorry, the place just felt familiar, almost as if it was my own room..."

Elyan looked at him for a full minute before actually bursting into fits of laughter. Now annoyed, and even a bit angry, Merlin asked:

"What is it?"

To Elyan's credit, he really tried to answer him but he couldn't seem to utter two words before laughing again. After a while, he calmed himself enough to answer:

"This, Merlin, are the King's chambers.

-Oh!

-Yes, 'Oh'"

Grinning sheepishly, Merlin said: "Whoops! My bad."

Well, he had done something stupid again. And really there was only one place he could be heading for right now: he didn't know why, but he had the strangest feeling that he'd better go and muck out the stables he had seen when they arrived in Camelot. When he said so to Elyan, the knight burst out laughing again, and gently took his arm.

"I don't think that'll be necessary, Merlin. Come on, why don't we go to the training grounds, that's where the others are.

-Sure" and he followed happily, wondering about his strange inclination to take care of horses when he had said something wrong.

When Arthur reached the training grounds, Merlin, Leon, Gwaine and Elyan were already there. The only one missing from their little group was Percival, who had taken Gwaine's place on guard duty. They were discussing something, but he was too far to hear what it was. Merlin looked captivated, and a bit awed, and Gwaine was making comical gestures to punctuate whatever story he was telling. Elyan and Leon just looked amused by the whole thing.

Curious, Arthur approached them quietly. Listening to them, Arthur couldn't help but smile. Gwaine was apparently telling Merlin of the day they met, in a bar fight when Gwaine saved Arthur's life. He, howeve,r felt he had to intervene when Gwaine started to get a bit too imaginative and started presenting him as a -well for lack of better term a princess. He had _not_ shouted like a girl when the bandit he had been battling with had shown he had a knife, he had fought him in a very manly way! He said so to the obviously delusional drunkard, effectively announcing his presence. Not at all ashamed at being caught red-handed uttering nonsense, Gwaine greeted him:

"Sire! Joining us for a bit? We are recalling Merlin of a few of our best and most dangerous adventures.

-Including their various plots to steal food right under the cook's nose." Merlin interjected cheerfully "from what I gathered, it was the most dangerous adventures they were in."

Shaking his head in dismay, Arthur sighed:

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that last bit of information, or I'll have to put you all in the dungeons." He said, not really meaning it.

He joined them and soon they were all telling their own stories to Merlin, sometimes all of them (which often ended in Merlin not knowing who to listen to anymore) sometimes more personal stories (which didn't stop the others from putting in their own comments, especially when Gwaine ended up embroidering a bit too much or when Arthur was being too much of a prat). Arthur of course was the one with the more to tell. He had, after all, know Merlin the longest and a lot of their adventures had been shared only by the two of them. However he found himself reluctant to mention some of those in front of the other knights. There were things that were for Merlin and him alone to share. But overall they had a good time.

Merlin seemed to remember more and more, or at least he claimed that what they were telling him sounded very familiar. However as Gaius had predicted, it was not really the events he remembered but what he had felt at the time. However sometimes Merlin looked strange, as if their stories were bothering him. Arthur wondered about that but didn't inquired any further. It was understandable that things were confusing for him.

Merlin was having a lot of fun. The knights -his friends, he thought joyfully- were completely crazy and if half of what they were saying was true, he was the the craziest of them all. Listening to them describing all the way they had managed to get caught up in impossible situations, and all the time their sheer luck -because really there was no other way to call it when an entire immortal army disappeared into thin air just at the right moment- had been the only thing allowing them to make it out alive, he was amazed at the bravery of those men, and honestly flabbergasted at his own recklessness. As he was, he had no idea where he had found the courage to accompany them in half the situations they managed to get themselves into. Although, he though while glancing at King Arthur, he might have a beginning of answer.

He was starting to remember the knights a bit, the feelings of familiarity growing more and more as time passed. For instance, he knew that he was closer to Gwaine than to any of the other knights, just as he knew he respected Leon immensely and that he trusted Elyan and Percival with his life. And in the same way, he knew that Arthur was the most important person out of all of them. The need to protect him, to make sure he was okay and on the right path, was so strong he had trouble dealing with it. It was not so strange to him, then, that he had found the courage to go with them facing all kind of dangers if it meant going with _him_. What was even stranger was that he genuinely felt he could protect the King while from what he heard he was not really a warrior and usually didn't end up doing much in their quests. Somehow it felt wrong to him, as if he was missing something.

All the stories had not been pleasant ones. They had been honest with him and they had told him as much as they could, good things ( for instance the one time when King Uther- who sounded like a rather harsh person- had fallen madly in love with a troll. Sir Leon had been telling that particular episode and he had had a hard time finishing his story without laughing too much. The others, even though Merlin and Gwaine had been the most verbal about it, had had no problem to show their amusement.) but also bad things. He had felt a deep sorrow when they had evoked one missing knight, Sir Lancelot. From what he was told, Lancelot had been one of his best friends, so the hurt he felt was totally understandable. The guilt,though, that was another story completely. He felt as if he had had something to do with it and even though he couldn't explain that feeling, he knew there was more to the story than what he was told. He had had a part in Lancelot's death and he didn't know how big that part had been. Another thing that left him with more questions than answers was the mention of the lady Morgana. He had heard of her before, when Arthur had been explaining to him why they had been looking for a magical crystal, but at the time the name had sounded unfamiliar to him. Now though, as he listened to stories of her exactions, he felt such a mix of confusing emotions that he actually had no idea what to do with them. He couldn't even name all of them. Too confused to come up with any decision concerning his weird feelings, he decided to drop the matter entirely.

But the strangest reaction he had had was when they told him about the dragon. Or rather when they told him about dragon_s_. The Great Dragon, which had spent twenty years locked up beneath the castle and had caused incredible destruction when it had been set loose before Arthur, along with some brave knights (one of them being Leon, which made him look at him with a new-found respect) and himself tagging along (which made him look at himself in complete disbelief and a bit of worry: his normal self was _clearly_ lacking common sense) had slain it. He would have thought that thinking of a huge lizard with the ability to spit fire at will, as well as a certain fondness for destruction and kill according to Arthur, such a beast would have made him feel _at least_ terrified. But strangely enough when he though of 'dragon' he did not think of fire or hurt or murder, but of joy and an exhilarating sense of freedom.

He closed his eyes and he could have sworn he felt a rush of wind on his face, an incredible sensation of floating- of flying in the air. Nothing could stop him, nothing could prevent him from being himself and doing whatever he pleased. Why he suddenly felt so powerful, and free, and happy, he didn't know. Why he got the feeling that he had flown on a dragon's back, he didn't know either but he wisely kept his mouth shut about the fact. It wouldn't do well to speak about it when he had no way of explaining this to his friends, especially since he got the same feeling as the whole Nimueh thing: this was something he had to keep secret at all cost.

And when they mentioned the dragon egg that they had destroyed (or rather - as he had pointed out when he had learnt that all they did was to sleep through the whole thing while _he_ went after the thief- the dragon egg they had seen getting destroyed by a falling tower) he had felt strangely happy and proud of himself, knowing that he had done a great good and a name came to his mind, full of affection and wonder: Aithusa. He didn't feel the need to inform his friends of this particular incident either but he started to wonder exactly how much he had been hiding from his friends, and why.

At some point during the conversation Percival had joined them. He was not the most talkative person of the group, so Merlin didn't notice at first. Sure, Percival was huge but he had been rather captivated by Gwaine's story of how, once, they had had to flee in front of an angry barman because Gwaine couldn't pay for the amount of alcohol he had consumed and he was way too busy laughing to notice the knight's arrival. He did notice Gwen's arrival though, when she kindly but firmly reminded her husband that he had a court to entertain tonight for they were supposed to attend a formal dinner. Reluctantly, Arthur left with the knights who attended the dinner too, as members of the court. Merlin, having been temporarily relieved from his duties so having no excuse to go with them, made his way towards Gaius' chambers. When he got there, the old physician was bent over some book, frowning.

"Gaius?" he asked timidly.

Looking up, startled, Gaius answered

"Ah Merlin, there you are. I was beginning to wonder what you had gotten yourself into. Come, come, someone from from the kitchen brought our supper a while ago.

-You're not going to the feast?

-No, no. Her Majesty allowed me to stay here tonight, so that I could continue my research.

-Have you found anything?"

The look on the old man's face as he answered didn't bode very well.

"Nothing certain."

Merlin didn't push the matter. Instead he went to the table where their meal was and he sat down. Gaius' eyes had not left him, looking at him in concern. Merlin was starting to get seriously concerned. He joined him and they started eating in silence. Gaius seemed to be considering something. Then, as he reached for the basket of bread between them, he knocked over the jug of water that had been carelessly put at the end of the table. It fell to the ground and Merlin instinctively reached for it but he didn't try to catch it. Instead, he willed it to stop where it was. The jug clattered on the ground, his content spilling out everywhere.

Gaius looked like someone who had been expecting something terrible to happen all the while praying for it not to be true but Merlin barely acknowledged that. A terrible sense of loss and wrongness had crept over him as he realised he had been unable to stop the jug's fall. He knew with absolute certainty that he should have been able to stop it. How, he didn't know, but he knew it nonetheless. Terror such as he had never experienced before seized him and he found himself unable to breath. It was then that he realised that his memories were not the only things the crystal had stolen from him. It had taken something else, something much more precious and valuable. _His magic_ his mind whispered. He had never felt so naked, so lost, so_ vulnerable,_ not even when he had woke up and realised he had no idea who he was or where he was. 'I've lost my magic' was the only thought that was in his mind, even if two minutes before he hadn't even knew he had magic. And he could as well have thought 'I've lost myself' because it felt exactly like that.

* * *

Gaius sighed for what felt like the hundredth time today as he opened yet another book. His suspicions about Merlin's magic had been confirmed and he had suggested the poor boy to go for a walk to clear his mind a bit after he had tried to explain to a shell-shocked Merlin that indeed he had magic and had been using it to help Arthur and the kingdom for quite some time now. He had provided the answer to Merlin's earlier musings as to why he was keeping so many secrets from his friends but the warlock was in no way to acknowledge that fact. He had successfully managed to get Merlin to leave him for his research (because really the depressed boy way terribly distracting for Gaius, he just wanted to go and comfort him) by promising that he was going to find a way for him to get his powers back. The stone reminded him of something but he couldn't place it so here he was, looking in hundreds of books to find what he was he looking for. He was sure it was somewhere in the left pile behind his stock of honey (because yes, as much as Merlin pretended otherwise, there was actually some sort of order in all his books). But said pile consisted of ten enormous dusty tomes and studying them would take a long time. No matter, Gaius was ready to spend the night on it if need be. It was the least he could do for his surrogate son.

It was around one in the morning. Merlin had come back from his walk and went to bed a while ago, so it was just him and his books, but he was getting exited. He was sure it was the good book. Now he just needed to find the reference he was looking for and everything would be alright. He was so immersed in his lecture that he failed to notice it at first. But it sounded again, and again, and again, till it became so annoying that Gaius stopped what he was doing for a few moments to try to understand what had bothered him. He heard nothing. Then, suddenly, a voice sounded in his head, soft and sweet, calling him. _Gaius, Gaius..._Not realising what he was doing, he raised and headed towards the door, all thoughts of his books forgotten.

**So what do you think? I think you can pretty much discover what is going to happen now, can't you? ;)**

**For those who wonder why he felt so amazed when he learnt how brave he had been to follow Arthur and the knights in their quests, I think that since he doesn't remember he has magic, he has no way of knowing that he was not being so reckless. When he lost his magic in the Diamond of the day, he showed that he was not so keen on wandering on his own anymore without the protection of his magic.**

**I'll add a bit more memories from Morgana in the next chapter I think. She is too important for him not to remember at least a bit.**

**I also want to warn you: my holidays are (sadly) ending so I won't be able to update as often because I can only write the week ends so sorry in advance.**

**Anyway review to tell me what you thought.**


	5. Troubles

**I'm really really sorry for the wait but I've been busy. My exams are approaching fast and I have a lot of work. I don't know when I'll be able to post the next chapter but... at least enjoy this one!**

**Thanks for all the nice reviews! I'm awfully stressed right now and it helps a lot! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin**

Arthur was getting ready for the day. He had a feeling it wouldn't be a pleasant one. It had taken forever last night for him to fall asleep, his mind was too filled with thoughts -about Merlin, the bandits that had been sighed near the north border, Merlin, the year's crop, Merlin and so on. As a result, when a servant had come in to wake him, he was still as exhausted as he had been before going to sleep and he would have wanted nothing more than to stay in his bed for a while but he had duties to perform, so he reluctantly rose. The fact that Merlin was not the one to wake him so he didn't have anyone to throw things at only made things worse. So really when a guard came barging into his room, he shouldn't have been so surprised:

"Sire! The Court physician has been found unconscious in the vaults. He's being... incoherent."

Yes, Arthur definitely should have stayed in bed that morning.

"What are you doing here?

-What does it look like I'm doing?" Was the cheeky reply.

"What I mean, M_er_lin, is why are you cleaning my room when I can clearly remember that I gave you a day off?

-I had nothing better to do." Merlin shrugged.

" You are _always _complaining about how I give you too much work and blablabla and the one time I give you some free time, you start doing chores anyways? You are not getting another day off in a long while, trust me.

-It's just... Gaius is...

-Ah yes of course." Honestly Arthur couldn't blame him. It was very disturbing, to say the least, to see Gaius like that. After the guard told him what happened, Arthur headed strait to Gaius' chambers. When he got there, Merlin was already there (of course he was, he lived in those chambers after all) as was Leon. Apparently he had been the one to find him, unconscious, when he went to check on the stone. He remembered the rather peculiar conversation they had had.

"Gaius? How are you feeling?

-Why does everyone keep asking me that? I'm fine. Just a bit sore.

-Do you... hum... do you remember who you are?"

Gaius looked at him as if he had lost his mind.

"What? Of course I know who I am! What kind of question is that?! I'm not nearly old enough to be senile yet.

-Of course not." Arthur answered, feeling like a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

"However, I don't think I know you. Who are you?" And then he turned to look at the other occupants of the room "All of you actually." As quickly as it came, Arthur's relief was gone, replaced by a feeling of dread. He had already gone through that once.

"I'm Arthur. King of Camelot"

Gaius looked at him in disbelief.

"Who do you think you are? If King Constantin learns that you've been making up such lies, you are going to be in trouble you know."

Everyone in the room just stared at him.

"Great! Just _great_!" Arthur exclaimed. "Merlin has amnesia and the one man that could have put an end to this madness has lost his mind!"

"What? Lost my mind? Now that's just enough! You are the one who are clearly delusional if you think you are the king."

"Constantin was my grandfather! He died years ago and my father, Uther, became king. Then he died too and I inherited the throne, Gaius.

-The king and the prince are dead? How? What happened?

-I told you, it was years ago.

-Nonsense, I saw the both of them at the court yesterday.

-As I said, it's not possible." Arthur was getting frustrated now. The old man just made no sense at all.

"How old are you?" The question, completely unexpected, took him off guard, but it was not directed at him.

Gaius looked at Merlin, his eyebrows raised in a familiar '_what nonsense are you saying'_ way.

"Fifteen." he answered with absolute certainty. And just like that, Arthur knew it was going to be a terribly long day trying to explain to the respectable and elderly physician that he was not, in fact, a teenager anymore.

It turned out he was right when two hours after there were still arguing with Gaius who wouldn't believe a word they said, accused them of having used an ageing spell on him - "which really wasn't funny" by the way- and he threatened to poison them with exotic herbs – because he was "the Physician apprentice" and they should "treat him accordingly"- at least as soon as he would have find a sorcerer or a sorceress willing to put an end to the enchantment . The thought of this was so foreign to him – that magic could be used in such a childish way, to prank someone without dire consequences- that he took a while to comprehend what Gaius was saying. It was strange to hear him speak about asking someone to use magic in such a casual way, but Arthur soon remembered that if Gaius really thought he was fifteen years old, then the Great Purge had not yet taken place and magic was still allowed in Camelot.

Thinking back about it, he could understand why Merlin didn't want to stay with the physician. Apparently, he had been rather obstinate back then and he was proving to be quite hard to handle. Thinking back, Arthur had to admit that it had been much easier with Merlin: he didn't remember anything so he didn't really had any choice but to trust them. Beside, he had started to remember them -at least enough to know they were indeed his friends- rather quickly. Gaius on the other hand was remembering a part of his life and he couldn't accept the fact that he had lost years of life because nothing felt _wrong _to him.

"Well, since you are here anyway, Merlin, why don't you take the chance to polish my boots, do my laundry, oh and polish my sword while you are at it." Arthur ordered, smiling deviously, and really it felt just like nothing was wrong at all when Merlin muttered "Prat" in answer and went to do as he was told. Yes, memory or not, Merlin was still Merlin.

Merlin was walking in the castle corridors towards the armory, with Arthur's sword in hand -and then again, he felt a strange feeling holding the sword, it felt familiar in his hand. Then again if what happened earlier was any indication drowning him with chores seemed to be one of the King's past-times so he had probably polished this sword more times than he could count. He had decided not to dwell on the strange impressions he kept having, he never really remembered the whole thing anyway and thinking about it all the time only served to give him a headache. He had decided to apply the _if-I-don't-think-about-it-it's-like-it-never-happened_ method to his magic as well. Thinking about it only made him sad and terrified and he had lost the one person he could talk about it, because every time he merely _thought_ of talking about it to someone else, like Arthur for instance, a feeling of sheer terror and guilt raised in him and he knew he couldn't say anything.

He was still musing about it when he heard footsteps coming from a hallway a few feet from him on his left. Wondering who it could be, because he was in a rather deserted part of the castle from what he had seen so far, he drew near the corridor and, just as he was about to turn round the corner he heard a shout:

"You! Stop right here! Who are you?"

Merlin freezed when he heard the imperious voice, scared to have been discovered somewhere forbidden. Usually (meaning in the last two days since it was as far as he could remember) he merely thought of where he wanted to go like the kitchens (he wished he had remembered how protective the cook could be with her pies _before_ he found himself on the other side of her menacing spoon but he hadn't been so lucky) or the training grounds or, in that case, the armory and then he simply let his feet take him. His body, it seemed, was still very familiar with the castle no matter what he may or may not have remembered. However he could not exclude the possibility that he had somehow found himself in a place where he wasn't supposed to go. So he slowly turned around, already preparing to explain himself and he realised that there was no one behind him. He blinked, surprised, when the voice of the guard (he supposed so anyway) sounded again but not from behind him, as he had thought, rather from his left.

"I asked you to... You!"

And then there was another voice, of a woman this time, incredibly cold.

"Me." She said something after that, a word he couldn't understand and, at the same time which felt strangely familiar to him. There was a sound like a gust of wind and then a huge crash and judging from all the clanking he could hear, it wasn't the woman that had had a nice meeting with the floor unless she was wearing a full armor.

He felt terrified. After all he had no idea what was going on and above all no way at all to defend himself. He was painfully aware of his lack of magic and, had he had his powers he wouldn't have had the slightest idea what to do with them. So he held his breath and try to make as little sound as possible. If the woman, whoever she might be, didn't see him, there was a chance she would just be on her way and then Merlin could go to find a knight to take care of the situation. However his hopes were crushed when he heard footsteps coming towards him and he was pretty sure it was the woman because, if it was possible for a woman to be wearing an armor, unusual as it made be, it was really _really_ improbable that a guard of the castle would be wearing heels and it was definitely heels he was hearing.

Getting panicky (and slightly hysteric because he was now imagining a guard fighting wearing high heels and he had trouble keeping himself from laughing maniacally at the image) he prayed to all gods that might be listening that the woman would not see him, that he would ok. How he wished he had a weapon with him... except he _had_ a weapon. A very big and deadly looking sword. He wanted to hit himself for his sheer idiocy. As the footsteps got closer to where he was, he gripped the sword as firmly as he could and he hoped that no matter how ridiculous he felt standing there with a sword in hand his past self would actually be a skilled swordsman and he would find it as easy to use the sword as finding his way around the castle. Right, as if that was ever going to happen. Still, he readied himself and when he heard the woman just next to him, he attacked.

Arthur was getting ready for the night. He had watched, amused (and immensely relieved to see that at least some things were getting back to the way they were supposed to be), as Merlin took his sword with him to go polish it grumbling curses at him all the while. He had had the idea of throwing something to his head -just for the sake of good habits- but he had remembered that this Merlin didn't know of that particular habit and that he might not dodge with his usual ease. The last thing he needed was to injure his manservant head more than it already was. He really didn't need anymore complications. Just as he was about to get under his sheets, he heard a knock at the door. Sighing, because he really wanted to get to sleep after the long day and he was not looking forward to whatever disastrous news his impromptu visitor could be bringing him, he opened the door only to find all his concerns disappearing. There, in front of him stood Guinevere and, as she smiled at him, he felt his heart beet just a little faster. As always.

"I'm sorry to bother you so late,Arthur, but... I wanted to speak with you if that's okay?

-Nonsense Guinevere, you are always welcome. Come in.

-Thanks." She answered, smiling again. Arthur automatically smiled back.

"It's just that I was thinking about everything that was happening, about how we could find a way to help Merlin and Gaius without, well Gaius.

-You've seen him?

-Yes. Leon told me what happened and I went to see him. It's so weird to see him that way. The guard you asked to keep him in his chambers told me that he had tried to escape by getting threw the window and he had almost broken his leg while doing so.

-Let me guess. He was certain a young man like him would have no problem accomplishing that little stunt, didn't he?

-Well... Yes. I stayed with him for a while and then I went to see sir Geoffrey.

-Ah yes, I asked him to try looking for answers instead of Gaius. And I made sure to warn the guards of the stone not to let him near the stone without my consent just in case that thing tries the same trick twice.

-It's a good idea. I helped him anyway I could but we found nothing.

-Patience Guinevere, I'm sure we'll find what that stone is soon enough."

He tried to appear confident but it wasn't so easy when he himself was feeling so anxious (because kings were never _scared_). He was beginning to think Morgana had never wanted the stone for herself but rather to get inside the castle were it could cause all kinds of mischief. If that was the case, he had certainly made her plans easier. But he couldn't just throw the thing away just in case first they needed it to heal Merlin and Gaius and second because there was still a possibility that Morgana might know a way to cause even more trouble with it.

"I just thought that maybe we were looking at the wrong place. After all we searched everywhere in the library and found nothing but the one with the most books on magical objects is Gaius.

-Yes but Gaius can't exactly help us now.

-Why not? All we have to do is find the books _he_ was looking in. He must have been looking in specific books where he knew he would have the most chance to find the answer . We should ask Merlin what Gaius was reading.

-Gwen? You are a genius!" He said and unable to help himself anymore, he kissed her.

"Well? What are we waiting for? Merlin should be at the armory I think."

The woman before him looked a bit dazed (he felt very proud of himself for the fact) so she took a while to process what he had said.

"What is he doing at the armory at such an hour?

-Polishing my sword." He answered a little guiltily. She was going to scold him for sure.

"Arthur! She exclaimed disapprovingly.

"He asked for it I swear!" The Once and future King answered childishly. Gwen merely sighed, exasperated at her love antics.

"Well no matter. Let's go"

**As someone suggested I made the voice of reason (namely Gwen) intervene. ^^**

**Alright who guessed who the woman Merlin bumped into is? Actually who didn't? It's pretty obvious. Now the real question is what is going to happen between them?**

**I really really hope I'll be able to give you an answer to that soon but I don't think I'll have much time this month so I'm sorry but you'll probably have to wait for my written exams to be behind me. Then I have the orals, but let's not think about that now. I'll probably be able to write in between the two ( meaning mid may I'm afraid).**

**Please leave reviews! I need all the support I can get! (I know it's a cheap trick but it's only fair game).**


	6. The Devourer

**Sorry, sorry I'm terribly late but the chapter is longer than usual to make it up to you. My only excuse (I personally think it's a rather good one but having often been in the shoes of the reader waiting for months for a chapter, I'm not sure you'll agree with me...): I'm taking my exams. After 2 years of doing nothing but prepare for it (it's the French system). Right now I'm in the middle of my orals (3 long weeks of orals...) and so I've actually very little time.**

**I thank warmly all of you that still read my story, even if I've made you wait so long. Thank you for your patience, I hope you'll like this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin**

Arthur and Gwen were heading toward the armoury to find Merlin. They were walking hands in hands and discussing quietly, enjoying one of the rare moments of privacy they shared. The happy atmosphere was unfortunately ruined when they stumbled upon the body of one of the guards.

"Arthur!" Gwen cried.

Alarmed, Arthur forced Guinevere behind him and he reached for his sword only to find nothing. Cursing, he remembered that he had given it to Merlin so that he could polish it, which left him unarmed. He bent over the guard and checked his pulse. The king sighed in relief when he sensed a steady beat albeit somehow feeble. He took the guard's sword and cautiously made his way toward the end of the corridor where he could hear someone talking too quietly for him to understand what he was saying or recognize the person's voice. He made a gesture for Gwen to stay were she was. Arriving at the end of the corridor, he took a deep breath and, preparing for anything he might find, abruptly emerged from his hiding place. There were no enemy, no monsters, nothing in that corridor. Nothing but a skinny manservant on his knees with the King's sword covered in blood before him, who kept repeating "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" over and over again. Arthur hesitated for a moment. He had never seen Merlin act this way before so he didn't know how to respond to it. Tentatively, he reached for Merlin's shoulder. Startled, the boy quickly turned around. His eyes widened when he saw his king standing behind him. Wiping his eyes, ashamed of having been caught in such a pitiful state, he got on his feet.

"Merlin? What happened here?" The king asked, concerned.

"Nothing" The warlock answered quickly, almost by reflex.

"Nothing? _Nothing?_ I find you crying with a bloodied sword in hand, one of my man unconscious, and it is _nothing?_

-Arthur calm down." Gwen intervened, having joined them when she realised there was no danger. "Merlin what's wrong?"

Realising that he would not get out of this one without explaining himself, he launched onto the story.

As he told the story, the feelings he was trying his best to ignore resurfaced and he had to fight back the tears that were threatening to spill from his eyes.

He attacked the woman as fast as possible, thinking that the surprise attack was his only advantage against a sorceress who had taken down a guard trained to fight in something like two seconds. As it was, he turned out to be right. The woman, certain that no one knew of her presence in the castle, didn't expect the lanky boy that launched himself at her with a sword. And confident in her magic, she certainly didn't expect the sword to really hurt her. Unbeknownst to her though, that weapon was one of the very few thing that could actually seriously harm her. It had been forged in a dragon's breath after all. The sword pierced through her just below the heart and she shrieked in pain. She collapsed and would have hit the floor if Merlin hadn't caught her by instinct. Her eyes wide, she stared at the one who had managed to wound her so. Sky blue eyes met her own, familiar ones. She was so baffled that she didn't even think of using her magic to defend herself.

"How...? "she choked out.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." It felt as if they were back to that moment years ago, when she was still a naïve trusting foul, when Merlin was still a dear friend and not one of her worst enemy. As always, she concentrated on the last part. Merlin was her enemy, as he had just proved, and daydreaming about a past long since lost would only pain her in the end, something which she had no need for. Judging by the guilty look on his face,the servant was thinking about the same incident.

Merlin was caught up in a memory, the first one he had managed to remember so far. He didn't see the dangerous sorceress looking hatefully at him but instead it was the face of a friend, so full of betrayal and incomprehension that it hurt just to look at, he didn't feel the surge of victory at seeing his enemy down but on the contrary he would have wanted nothing more than to take it back. He kept apologizing, both to that woman and the one in his memory who were so much alike and yet poles apart. Was it possible to drown in guilt? He certainly felt it was a yes.

But a sound interrupted his thoughts. Footsteps: someone was coming. His eyes frantic, he hesitated about what his next step should be. He could call for help and hope that they could heal her but something told him that there were actually very little chances for her to be treated well. No, from the way she had acted towards the guard, she was no friend of Camelot. But still... It was his fault that she was in such a state and no matter what she had done, he felt like she deserved better. Especially since it was the second time (that he knew of at least) that he had done something like that...Making up his mind, he raised quickly with the woman in his arms. Well he meant for it to look cool but she was actually heavier than she looked (because he was definitely _not_ weaker than he thought) so he stumbled and she moaned in pain as he moved her. He half-carried, half-dragged her to the next corridor. He wanted to help her to go somewhere safe to heal her but apparently, she wasn't keen on the idea. Whatever had prevented her from acting sooner was gone now.

"Let me go!" She hissed furiously as she pushed him back. He let go.

He heard that the footsteps were getting closer so he whispered; "You have to go! Now!"

She opened her mouse to snap at him but closed it again when she heard Gwen's voice: "Arthur!". For a split second, Merlin and Morgana looked at each other and then, without a glance back, the witch hurried away, fast even as wounded as she was. She was in no condition to fight with her brother. She would have to come back later to take the jewel back: it belonged to her, as a rightful possession of the last high priestess of the old religion, not to the stupid knights of Camelot. In the mean time, she was going to heal herself and, above all, she was going to make sure to forget everything that had happened that night. It didn't matter if Merlin had helped her, or that he had looked sincerely sorry. He was the one who had wounded her to begin with! He was just too weak to face the consequences of his actions. Yes, that was all there was to it.

They were back in Gaius' chambers. Merlin had calmed down enough to tell them what happened (the edited version of course) and Arthur had sent out all his knights to try and catch her. They hadn't often the chance to catch Morgana in such a wounded state. A part of him wanted to laugh out loud at the though that clumsy, couldn't-use-a-sword-to-save-his-life Merlin had been the one to hurt her so. The other part couldn't shake the feeling that if that idiot hadn't be so lucky, he might have gotten killed. Hell, he didn't even know who she was. He could as well have tried to greet her. But there was no point in wondering what could have happened. For now, he needed to focus on the task at hand. He couldn't do much more about Morgana than what he already did, so he figured he might as well deal with the stone issue.

"Merlin?" He called.

"Hum?" Was the only answer he got. He seemed lost in thoughts, ever since he had found him in that empty corridor.

"Gwen had an idea. Do you remember what books Gaius was looking into before he lost his memories too? We think that it might be where we have the most chance to find a solution."

Merlin thought about it for a moment before answering:

"Not really, but they should still be on his working table"

Nodding, Arthur went to the table and reached for the books.

"Well? " Merlin asked

When Arthur failed to answer, Merlin joined him by the table and looked at the books too. Seeing the tome his king was looking at, Merlin couldn't help grinning. It was written in a small, barely decipherable handwriting, in a language which Merlin highly doubted the super-warrior-but-so-much-of-a-savant even knew existed if the confused look on his face was anything to go by.

"Well my lord, what does it talk about?" The warlock asked, not able to refrain his mirth. Apparently, Arthur got the teasing tone, and he was not so happy about it.

"You tell me, _Mer_lin, after all you are the one who is studying Gaius." He answered with a smirk of his own.

"Er... well, you see, it's... hum..."

"Yes Merlin? I'm waiting"

Damn his loud mouth, what could he say to avoid admitting that he, too, had no idea what the book was? Then it hit him and he answered smugly:

"I can't remember but this book definitely seems familiar, I'm sure I've red it before..."

The look the blond gave him told him that he didn't believe it for a second, but there was little he could do to make him admit it so he let the matter drop.

In the end, they had to ask Gaius for help. By the time Arthur had finished convincing the stubborn man that finding informations about the stone was the only way for him to get his 'young and dashing' (his words) body back, because there was still no other way to make him believe he was in fact an old man with a young mind and not the other way around, Arthur wanted to smack something. Usually it would have been Merlin, but he decided that a much more satisfactory punishment would be to make him stay with the physician to help with his research. The look Merlin gave him as he finally exited the chambers was almost worth the effort of arguing with Gaius. Almost.

Merlin and Gaius searched the whole night for information. Gaius, because he apparently couldn't wait to be young again (he had mentioned a woman's name and Merlin ha dropped the matter entirely. Seeing his mentor talk like a teenager in love was _really_ disturbing). For his part, the manservant wanted something to occupy his mind, anything. After he had explained to Arthur what had happened with Morgana, the king had warned him against her, saying that she was a dangerous and cruel woman and that he had done the right thing, that he shouldn't feel guilty. But he couldn't help but wonder, if she was such a bad person -and he didn't doubt what Arthur told him,he had seen first hand how dangerous she could be- then why, every time he thought about her, he didn't felt hate or fear but only terrible sadness and guilt. So he worked on the stone problem because it was far more simple for him to deal with it.

It took them ages to find the books Gaius had been looking into before losing his memories, because he had moved them after getting back to his chambers as 'young Gaius' when he tried to find something to occupy himself with since he was locked in his chambers (or so he said. Merlin had noticed that a lot of the books he had been looking at were medical books detailing the various ways to knock people -say for instance guards- out). But they finally found the books the physician had probably been reading and they started scanning them. It was actually Merlin that found the first references to the stone in a thick volume called 'The Seventy seven creations of Guilberg the dark', a sorcerer who didn't seem to be such a nice person if the creations he had made were anything to go by. Calling Gaius over to show his findings, he red the little passage written besides a drawing of a stone that looked just like the one they were looking for:

"The Devourer -well that certainly sound like a nice little thing- was created in the last years of Guilberg's life. This artefact was designed to suck the power of other sorcerers when they touched the red side and to transfer those powers back to the owner of the stone when he touched the smooth part of it. However, afraid of the power he could wield with such an artefact in his possession, the high priestesses asked one of their men to steal it from Guilberg and give it to them. No one really knows what happened to him. He did steal the stone but he was never seen again. Had he touched it despite knowing its effects? Had he wanted to keep to himself? To make sure no one could use it? The answers to those questions is unknown, as well as the actual location of the Devourer."

Well that certainly gave food for thoughts to the two researchers. The problem was that the book never mentioned losing one's memory, the stone was supposed to take magic. At least he now knew why his magic had disappeared. Now that he thought about it, it was probably why the stone had affected him in such a way. The knights told him he had been mesmerised by it. Was it because in their group he was the only one who actually had magic? So the loss of his memories was just a... side effect? What about Gaius? He most likely had magic too, seeing as the stone had affected him. Besides, he had mentioned using magic very casually before. Clearly he had been raised in a society that accepted magic without trouble, unlike now as it was forbidden.

Now that he knew more or less what had happened, he was faced with two problems: for one, he couldn't exactly tell Arthur about what they had found because if there was one thing that was for sure it was that telling the King he had magic was a very _very_ bad idea. The other problem that he had still no idea how to get back his memories. If he touched the other side of the crystal would he get his magic and his memories back? Or just his magic? Or nothing at all because he was not Guilberg? Even worst, what if he got his magic and Gaius' all at once? He needed more information about the stone and how it was supposed to work. They kept looking for a few more hours but all they could find was a brief mention of the stone which didn't give them any new information. Finally, exhausted, they decided to call it a night and they went to bed.

_Merlin...Merlin_ a voice whispered in his head. He woke up with a start. _Merlin, come to me_. Now that situation sure felt familiar... Getting up, he followed the voice. The corridors were mostly empty, save for a few guards patrolling and some servants going on about their duties. He was only half surprised when the voice led him out of the castle and not in the treasure rooms where the stone was hidden. The more he thought about it, the more he was convinced that the stone had nothing to do with it: he was still in control of his actions and the voice felt familiar, like the voice of a friend that would have been missed for a long time. For now he decided to trust whatever the hell was calling him, and he hoped that it would not end up too badly this time. As he mused about this, he was walking towards the forest and he soon found himself surrounded by trees, familiar and comforting. It was still very dark and he had trouble seeing were he was going because the moon was hidden by clouds. By the time he reached his destination, which seemed to be some kind of clearing, he had several scratches and he bet there were enough leaves in his hair to make him look like a small, walking tree. Everything about the scene, from the voice in his head to the place where he was now, screamed of familiarity. As he tried to recall why that was, he saw flashes of memories, too quick for him to analyse -_shouting, bowing to show his thanks, 'I'm your lord', 'young warlock', a huge beast flying above him, 'I have to save him'-_ and he knew who had called him there. At the same moment, there was a rushing sound and something -no, not something, a friend: Kilgarrah- landed in front of him.

"Greetings, young warlock" it said, with a deep, booming voice.

"Er... Hi?" He answered, not really knowing how to deal with the situation. "You are the one that called me here?"

"Yes, I am. You are lost, young warlock, that I can tell.

-Lost?

-Yes, lost. Tell me, what has happened to you? I've sensed that something was wrong for some time and when you didn't call for me as you usually do, I've become worried. Rightly so it would seem for your light is almost gone."

And so Merlin started to tell him all that had happened since he had woken up in a forest without a single memory. When he was finished, the dragon stayed silent for a long time. Finally, he spoke up:

"I know of the Devourer. It truly is a terrible artefact, one that should not have been invented in the first place. To have taken your powers in such a way is despicable.

-What about my memories?

-I believed they are tied to your magic. When the Devourer stole your magic, it took a part of your essence with it. Since you have such a peculiar magic, it took all your memories. However for the physician, it only took his memories linked to his magic. As he was not born with it it left him his memories about before he started learning and practising magic.

-How can we get it back?

-I will give you the enchantments needed to control the Devourer.

-But I don't have magic anymore!"

Unexpectedly, this made the old dragon roar with laughter:

"You are Emrys! The most powerful warlock to ever walk the earth. How could a pitiful stone resist to your powers? Tell me young warlock, why are your memories coming back to you gradually but not those of your mentor?"

His heart beating loudly, he asked full of hope:

"So my powers are not really gone then?

-For now they have been taken from you but they are slowly coming back. The enchantments I will give you will enable you to get it back at once, as well as giving your mentor his own memories and power but you must promise me two things, young warlock. First I do not know how much power has been stocked inside the stone but you mustn't take more than your own power. Stealing the strength of another sorcerer is a terrible act, and I will not help you to commit such a deed. Secondly, you must destroy the stone once you are finished. It should have never existed in the first place and if the witch were to get a hold of it, I fear that the future of Albion would be greatly compromised.

-I swear." Merlin answered solemnly

"Very well" And then the great dragon bowed till his head almost touched Merlin's forehead and he blew gently. Merlin,his eyes closed, felt like a warm wave was passing through him and for the first time he could remember, he tasted the power of magic coursing through his body. During the few seconds it lasted, he felt as if he was himself again and then it was gone and he was cold and hopeless again.

"I shall be leaving then. Goodnight, young warlock.

-Thank you for your help"

With a toothy grin as his only answer, the great dragon took flight again, leaving him.

He quickly made his way to the castle, wondering what he was going to say to Arthur to explain all that had happened without letting slip that 1) He was going to use magic to get his powers and his memories back and 2) That he had gotten the spell from a dragon the king believed to have slain. Hum... Better to ask for forgiveness than permission right?

First, he went to fetch Gaius in his chambers. He waked him softly, telling him that he had found a way to get everything back to normal but that he would have to do exactly as he was told. They went out and Merlin told the guard outside that they had found something and where going to report to Arthur. If the soldier thought that it was a bad idea to go and wake the king up at such an hour he didn't say so and he didn't protest at Gaius leaving the chambers since it was clear that Merlin was with him. However, Merlin didn't go to Arthur's chambers, he went directly to the treasure room where he knew the stone was kept. The guards let them pass without question. Apparently being the king personal manservant was as much of a pass as anyone might need. Only when they reached the last chamber did the guard stop them and told them that King Arthur had ordered than no one was to enter without permission. He told him that they had found something and that they had to check it, but that they had forgotten to warn the king and how could he have been so careless, Arthur was going to be mad at him etc... He went on with it for five minutes before the guard interrupted him and proposed to go and warn the king, if they could just wait here. Smiling as innocently as he could, Merlin was quick to agree that it was a wonderful idea.

As soon as he was sure the guard had left, he opened the door. Or at least tried to. How could he have been so stupid as to get all the way down here without looking for the keys first?! Just as he was about to bang his head on the nearest wall to atone for his stupidity, a memory flashed through his mind, much like it had done when he had seen the dragon. A spell. Grinning, he got close to the door and whispered the spell, _willing_ the door to open for him. The door opened with a soft _clic_. Either Kilgarrah was right and he was getting a bit of his powers back or the magic he had used to give him the spells had lingered in him. Seeing what he had just done Gaius -whom he had all but forgotten at this point- exclaimed:

"Bloody hell! You are a sorcerer! I knew that blondie was lying to me when he said that there were no sorcerers who could end the ageing spell in Camelot anymore. Well, boy, what do you have to say for yourself? Do you find it funny to..."

Merlin interrupted him before he finished, because they were a bit short on time (even thought the fact that Gaius had called Arthur 'blondie' was just hilarious). They entered the room and sure enough, the Devourer was on a table in the middle of the room. Now that he was so close to it, he could hear his whispers in his head _Merlin... Merlin_. Fighting against the attraction of the stone, he turned to Gaius:

"I'm going to touch the stone and use a spell to make things turn back to normal. When I tell you to, you will take my hand ok?

-Why should I listen to you? You are probably the one that did this to me in the first place!" He huffed angrily.

Merlin sighed, he really didn't have the time to deal with a stubborn, childish Gaius.

"You have to because if you don't you'll never get back to the way you were. Is that clear?

-Yes, yes I get it.

-Good."

The young warlock took a deep breath and slowly reached for the stone, the blue part of it. However the closer he got to it, the more his hand seemed to edge closer to the angry red part. By sheer willpower, he forced himself to reach for the blue part. As soon as he made contact with it, he felt white ho power coursing through his veins. Years and years of memories assaulted his mind, too much for him to make out. He felt so powerful, so strong! It was exhilarating but suddenly, a voice echoed inside his head '_ Stealing the strength of another sorcerer is a terrible act'_. Fighting against the raging power he muttered the incantation the dragon has implemented into his mind, concentrating in getting his own powers and memories and to push back the others. Finally, he felt he had managed his task. Calling up Gaius, he said

"Now Gaius take my hand!"

He felt Gaius had obeyed him and saying the spell again, he focused on Gaius' magic to get it back to him. It was surprisingly easy to spot the magic Gaius, it felt almost as familiar as his own, even he had never witnessed the older man practice magic. But the magic felt just like Gaius did, warm and comforting and wise even it was feeble because it hadn't been used in years and he knew at once whom it belonged to. When he was done, he stepped back and asked Gaius to do the same, and then he launched a powerful spell on the stone that shattered into a million pieces with a loud _bang_.

Merlin stared stupidly at the remains of the stone for a second and then the door was slammed open and Arthur, sword in hand (which was completely stupid because he was not seriously going to attack a stone with a sword, was he?), all but ran into the room, looking frantic. When he saw the room and what was left of the stone though, his expression became annoyed and he said in a deceptively calm voice:

"_Mer_lin. Explain.

-Ah... yes, well, it's a long story"

Seeing that Arthur was not going to be satisfied with that, he explained what had happened (or rather, he gave the edited version of what had actually happened).

"We finally found what that stone was, apparently a mad sorcerer created it and, well I'm not going to bore you with the details" (such as the fact it stole magic for instance, Merlin wisely kept that part out) "but the book said that to get back our memories we had to touch the blue part of the stone so we did and then _boom_ the stone was gone.

-Gone?

-Yes.

-Just like that?

-Well, you can't really trust sorcerer's creations can you? Who knows how he had designed that thing?

-But you do have your memories back right? All of them?" Then he glanced at Gaius standing besides Merlin, and added, rather worried "The both of you?"

Grinning cheekily, Merlin answered:

"Oh they I definitely think so. Some are clearer than others through... like that time I had to make a new hole in your belt because you had gotten fa...

-MERLIN!

-...t. Yes my lord?

-Well since you seem to be in such spirits, why don't you go and muck out the stables? I daresay the horses have sorely missed you.

-What, now?

-Yes, Merlin, now.

-But I haven't slept at all and...

-Too bad for you. I suggest you start right now, if you want to have the time to finish all your chores today"

Sighing dejectedly, Merlin, headed to the stables, dragging his feet. But even this couldn't completely shake the feeling of elation he felt at _finally _being himself again. Discretely reaching for his powers, just to check that they were, indeed, here, he smiled when he felt the familiar energy. It had been far too long.

Oh yes Merlin was going to have a lot of chores today, Arthur thought. Partly to punish him for losing his memories in the first place and trying to get them back in his back, even though getting close to that stone could have been dangerous, and partly because it had seriously been way too long since the familiar figure of his lanky manservant had been seen accompanying him everywhere in his duties, complaining all the while. Not that he would ever admit this to anyone.

He missed the half-amused, half- exasperated look on Gaius face, as he exited the room to go and announce the good news to the others, who should be all getting up by now (that is if Gwaine had actually spent the night in his quarters and not at the local tavern).

All was well. Well till the next disaster at least.

**END**

**Actually, I'm wondering if I'm going to make a small epilogue or not, we'll see. I hope you liked it anyway. As always, reviews are welcomed (or rather strongly advised)!**


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